that's right.Two more months and school's over!! well, not seriously meaning tht studying is over for me. but, finally graduating form high school!! haha..cant wait for that to happen!..
nothing much have happened today other than the usual work, school and home.lol....but yes, i seriously dont know but i felt berat hati to leave the peep from my school.its like the thought scares me..well, probably its cz i'm used to have them around. not only tht. i found several nice ppl around here. no one is perfect in this world as now tht i've realised. just the change in the way i see things, changed my perspective over things. no matter how much i hate them or how much i dislike them or even of how much dissaprove of their actions, they were there to accompany me..keeping me occupied even though i dont feel some sense of belonging here.. THANKS GUYS!!for making me looking at things into deeper levels.. not long now though b4 school ends..................
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
My place!!
hey ppl, sorry for the long wait!! hehee..
i just didnt have the time to blog nowadays...
but here i am..
updating about the place i lived in...
lols...
here are for you, kero!=)
this is the locker bay..
this is the year 12 study area..
this is my specialist maths class.. only 5 ppl in my class(including me!!!)
this is the walk way to senior school centre..doesnt it looked like a 'prison' to you?
this is my school, pakenham secondary college..
this is the street i took to walk to school
main st....
my piano!! =)
this is where i lived..
this is rogers st..the street where my house is
its elly and rach!
my friends...
close- up look of cherry blossom trees from my st
kk..
that's all for now...
lols...
gonna update soon..
but cant promise when...
hehe
later guys...=)
i just didnt have the time to blog nowadays...
but here i am..
updating about the place i lived in...
lols...
here are for you, kero!=)
this is the locker bay..
this is the year 12 study area..
this is my specialist maths class.. only 5 ppl in my class(including me!!!)
this is the walk way to senior school centre..doesnt it looked like a 'prison' to you?
this is my school, pakenham secondary college..
this is the street i took to walk to school
main st....
my piano!! =)
this is where i lived..
this is rogers st..the street where my house is
its elly and rach!
my friends...
close- up look of cherry blossom trees from my st
kk..
that's all for now...
lols...
gonna update soon..
but cant promise when...
hehe
later guys...=)
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Random moments...but seriously I hate having depression!
I wonder...
I wonder of how does it feels like to have someone who's crippled in my life..
crippled in the sense where she could not even speak, hear or even be in the right state of mind.
Sometimes, I wondered of what's really going on in my sis's mind. Is she thinking at the same wavelength as what me, my dad and other 'normal' ppl? Or is she immersing herself into a reality where it could only be controlled by only she, herself? Sometimes, I found her seriously delusive. Having delusive thoughts, having delusive mind, and delusive perception. well, just to name a few. I could be wrong for various reasons as I do not have the authority to decide where a person stands in the face of 'perceptions'...well, i dont think i'm making much sense here cz i'm pretty much rambling and gibbering about thought that'z cluttering in my mind. Blogging seemed like a place to vent out my thoughts and frustrations about ppl in general . Well, not just ppl in general. But also things which got me annoyed most of the time.
But when people mentioned the word 'love'. Love as in liking someone, as in giving your whole life to the one you entrusted to. What does it really mean? as in like; Do you really liked the person just because of who he/she is inside and not what's in the appearance?Or do you liked him/her just for your own benefit?Either way, the matter of love is really complicated and its best to not to meddle with it. Or even put a foot into it and be stucked and lost!
I've got an english exam on monday and i'm not prepared.=(..well, its hard to blame me cz I've been given 2 days to complete the essay. 2 days!!! in Malaysia, we only got like an hour to complete it. But here, 2 effing days to complete one essay. And it wasnt like a real lengthy essay where we have to ramble on for about twenty pages. The first day will be spent on planning. PLANNING!!!planning an essay for the whole period(it goes for an hour and 15mins). And the next day would be writing it out. I mean, what's the point in spending like 30 mins to plan?
shouldnt they just instead pressure us into doing a 5min plan rather than 30mins? It sent a totally wrong message or signal to the brain as one would get use to doing the 30 mins planning tht until the time when the real exam's here, they would be struggling as 5mins would not be enough for them to plan! and another thing to note here is that I'm getting lazier day by day. I think its because of the style or of the way my school got us into the stuyd mood that has made the difference. To begin with, the students werent in the study mood. Next, is that the teachers here are not as strict as the teachers frm mas. Then , the way or the method of teaching by the teachers here are flexible;they lacked the experience in exposing to students the real way of how the exams are being graded and they too lacked the power in controlling the student's mind to study. These made me longed for the life back in rps. I truly missed it and truly wished that I didnt chose to come here. But on the other hand, if i didnt left mas, i would not have known of how much I appreciate my old school and the presence of all my superb friends in rps! Thanks guys for supporting me all this while. I guess you would never find out of how much a person/a thing means to you until you truly left him/it. I seriously do not want to be dragged down but at the same time, I dont want to end up being lonely in my new school. But to blend in, I must conform with the trend that they were carrying;by being carefree. When I stressed out too much, they thought that i'm weird. And when I'm studying, they started to exclude themselves away from me. I felt like I'm bein ditched in a corner; far apart from the world. Disconnecting myself and losing touch with the world out there. I wished that I could just reach out and grab hold the string of a flying kite . And just ...flyaway.Fly away from all the miseries, troubles and sorrows. It sounded depressing and that's for sure. But I ran out of idea too easily when I'm writing an essay and i'm slowly evolving into a pessimist. Taking gloomy view of things is not a good thing. But this is how i was nowadays, being self-centred;thinking that nothing else matters apart from myself. I should have correct my wrongful ways but i just couldnt when i was striked by another wave of devastating news. I got Bs in my mid-year exam!!! i just couldnt bring myself to face my dad anymore as getting Bs to me, is something that I tried avoid doing. But....
aihz....life's unfair. When i 'm at my peak in getting everything good in my life, I'm succumbed by all the bad things in life. Why does everytime when I'm happy with the way my life is, something or someone is going to take that away from me? Why must they do this to me? Why is it my life's full of misery? Why cant I just have my life laid out just exactly like how I wanted it to be?
I dont really want to burden you guys any further with my never-ending depression. But some questions just couldnt be answered!! aihz...
guess life's like this...
I wonder of how does it feels like to have someone who's crippled in my life..
crippled in the sense where she could not even speak, hear or even be in the right state of mind.
Sometimes, I wondered of what's really going on in my sis's mind. Is she thinking at the same wavelength as what me, my dad and other 'normal' ppl? Or is she immersing herself into a reality where it could only be controlled by only she, herself? Sometimes, I found her seriously delusive. Having delusive thoughts, having delusive mind, and delusive perception. well, just to name a few. I could be wrong for various reasons as I do not have the authority to decide where a person stands in the face of 'perceptions'...well, i dont think i'm making much sense here cz i'm pretty much rambling and gibbering about thought that'z cluttering in my mind. Blogging seemed like a place to vent out my thoughts and frustrations about ppl in general . Well, not just ppl in general. But also things which got me annoyed most of the time.
But when people mentioned the word 'love'. Love as in liking someone, as in giving your whole life to the one you entrusted to. What does it really mean? as in like; Do you really liked the person just because of who he/she is inside and not what's in the appearance?Or do you liked him/her just for your own benefit?Either way, the matter of love is really complicated and its best to not to meddle with it. Or even put a foot into it and be stucked and lost!
shouldnt they just instead pressure us into doing a 5min plan rather than 30mins? It sent a totally wrong message or signal to the brain as one would get use to doing the 30 mins planning tht until the time when the real exam's here, they would be struggling as 5mins would not be enough for them to plan! and another thing to note here is that I'm getting lazier day by day. I think its because of the style or of the way my school got us into the stuyd mood that has made the difference. To begin with, the students werent in the study mood. Next, is that the teachers here are not as strict as the teachers frm mas. Then , the way or the method of teaching by the teachers here are flexible;they lacked the experience in exposing to students the real way of how the exams are being graded and they too lacked the power in controlling the student's mind to study. These made me longed for the life back in rps. I truly missed it and truly wished that I didnt chose to come here. But on the other hand, if i didnt left mas, i would not have known of how much I appreciate my old school and the presence of all my superb friends in rps! Thanks guys for supporting me all this while. I guess you would never find out of how much a person/a thing means to you until you truly left him/it. I seriously do not want to be dragged down but at the same time, I dont want to end up being lonely in my new school. But to blend in, I must conform with the trend that they were carrying;by being carefree. When I stressed out too much, they thought that i'm weird. And when I'm studying, they started to exclude themselves away from me. I felt like I'm bein ditched in a corner; far apart from the world. Disconnecting myself and losing touch with the world out there. I wished that I could just reach out and grab hold the string of a flying kite . And just ...flyaway.Fly away from all the miseries, troubles and sorrows. It sounded depressing and that's for sure. But I ran out of idea too easily when I'm writing an essay and i'm slowly evolving into a pessimist. Taking gloomy view of things is not a good thing. But this is how i was nowadays, being self-centred;thinking that nothing else matters apart from myself. I should have correct my wrongful ways but i just couldnt when i was striked by another wave of devastating news. I got Bs in my mid-year exam!!! i just couldnt bring myself to face my dad anymore as getting Bs to me, is something that I tried avoid doing. But....
aihz....life's unfair. When i 'm at my peak in getting everything good in my life, I'm succumbed by all the bad things in life. Why does everytime when I'm happy with the way my life is, something or someone is going to take that away from me? Why must they do this to me? Why is it my life's full of misery? Why cant I just have my life laid out just exactly like how I wanted it to be?
I dont really want to burden you guys any further with my never-ending depression. But some questions just couldnt be answered!! aihz...
guess life's like this...
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