Tuesday, April 13, 2010
PARANOID!!!!
i've been paranoid!! eversince i've got off work , i'm wondering if i've chucked out some pat's xrays? yikes!!! wouldnt be pleasant if i did..am so worried right now...wonder if i should give them a ring and ask them to confirm with me? on the other side..i dont think it would be a good idea..wht would they think of me in the first place?!!! aihz...i'm dead worried right now....argh! can someone relieve me of the anxiety i'm in now?!! shouldnt be that careless in the first place..but yet, cant help but to make mistakes as i'm hurying for the next appoint. ....argh!! hope that the x-ray's still there! not working tmr so couldnt check on it..i'm always so careless..i wonder why?
WAIT......
Sorry...
have not updated my blog for days..perhaps months has passed and this blog of mine is still not updated.Have not been listening to my mp3 for months and now that i'm listening to it, i'm wondering what makes me do it..is it cuz of my bad mood? or is it just that i wanna rebel against my ears in damaging them even more?maybe i'm just sick of my life in being so mundane.I want a change . A life . away from everything . something where no one knows me so as to acoid the unwanted questions and being constantly reminded of the situation i'm in now. its hard to be reminded everyday of how hard life can be. without the difficulties in life, the intricacies of its meaning will not be found. its crap to know that. but that's reality for you. its never been nice to you and it will only get harsher on you from there on. ..
wait...
the word wait has popped out several thoughts in mean. wait..to some people its a hope. a hope that will change their life for the better. but how better can it be? does it mean by owning a house , a car and a family is having a better life? having a good job? having endless flow of money cashing into the bank account? wait..wait ..wait..that's what people been telling me..wait for a better chance. wait for a better offer..wait for the right time...wait till when there is enough money for me to study..wait..wait..wait..wait ..i started to hate this word slowly..i used to like this word which is quite an irony.as this word like i described has given me hope but yet plunged me down to gloominess. how long do i have to wait till all that i'm now encountering will be over? how long does it take for me to recover from all this? i have been wounded many times over petty things. maybe my EQ is not that great. maybe i'm tired of all this. maybe i'm a whinger. all i know is to whinge, complain, protest, hate and dislike this and that. yea...that's probably who i'm right now. a whinger. who whinges and complains..
have not updated my blog for days..perhaps months has passed and this blog of mine is still not updated.Have not been listening to my mp3 for months and now that i'm listening to it, i'm wondering what makes me do it..is it cuz of my bad mood? or is it just that i wanna rebel against my ears in damaging them even more?maybe i'm just sick of my life in being so mundane.I want a change . A life . away from everything . something where no one knows me so as to acoid the unwanted questions and being constantly reminded of the situation i'm in now. its hard to be reminded everyday of how hard life can be. without the difficulties in life, the intricacies of its meaning will not be found. its crap to know that. but that's reality for you. its never been nice to you and it will only get harsher on you from there on. ..
wait...
the word wait has popped out several thoughts in mean. wait..to some people its a hope. a hope that will change their life for the better. but how better can it be? does it mean by owning a house , a car and a family is having a better life? having a good job? having endless flow of money cashing into the bank account? wait..wait ..wait..that's what people been telling me..wait for a better chance. wait for a better offer..wait for the right time...wait till when there is enough money for me to study..wait..wait..wait..wait ..i started to hate this word slowly..i used to like this word which is quite an irony.as this word like i described has given me hope but yet plunged me down to gloominess. how long do i have to wait till all that i'm now encountering will be over? how long does it take for me to recover from all this? i have been wounded many times over petty things. maybe my EQ is not that great. maybe i'm tired of all this. maybe i'm a whinger. all i know is to whinge, complain, protest, hate and dislike this and that. yea...that's probably who i'm right now. a whinger. who whinges and complains..
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